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Jerilyn stared at the phone as it rang a second time. The caller ID showed her husband’s name and since it was almost her bedtime she knew what to expect. When she answered the phone, Antony would start the nightly routine he established almost two years ago and tell her he had to stay at work. Again.
It rang a third time and Jerilyn scowled in resentment. Last night when she lay alone in bed, she made herself a promise to not go another day without someone’s touch. In the cold light of day she doubted she could go through with it, but if he ignored her one more night . . .
On the fourth ring her thumb hovered over the answer button. She loved her husband and didn’t want her marriage to end but she couldn’t bear this corrosive loneliness. When he was around, he lavished her with attention, doted on her, made her feel like the center of the universe. But those occasions were so rare they didn’t make up for the endless nights alone.
Her hand trembled on the fifth ring. She had to answer it now. If he let her down again, it was his problem. It wasn’t like he was in the military and sent away because of duty. He chose to stay at work. He chose a nearby hotel or his office over their home, and his career over her. So be it.
Jerilyn pushed the answer button. “Hello, Antony.”
“Hello, sweetheart.” Antony sounded tired but happy. “Did I get you out of the shower?”
“Good. I hope I didn’t interrupt you in the middle of something.”
“Nope.” Like there was anything for her to do while she wasted her life waiting for him. You could only clean an apartment so much. “It just took me a bit longer than normal to answer.” She tried to put some enthusiasm into her voice but couldn’t manage it.
“I can tell you’re unhappy with me and I don’t blame you.” That was Antony’s segue into his usual apology and explanation but Jerilyn couldn’t listen to it again.
“You’re not coming home again.” It should have been a question but it came out in a depressed monotone. She wanted to weep.
Antony sighed and she pictured him rubbing the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry, I want to, I really do, but I can’t afford the time away from this project, not if I want to make the deadline.”
“There’s a deadline now?” Jerilyn grasped at this new development. Antony never mentioned a deadline before.
“Sort of.” He sounded evasive and her heart sank. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I want to have this done by our anniversary, that’s the deadline I’m shooting for. But I can’t force the other parties to move on my time line. All I can do is get my side done as fast as possible.”
Jerilyn went to the calendar. What day was it? Friday? No, Tuesday. It seemed like it should be later in the week. Her schedule never changed which made it easy to lose track of the days. She found the date and what little hope she had, vanished. Their anniversary was almost three months away. Even if he finished his precious project he probably had another one lined up.
“I miss you, isn’t there any way you can come home, just for the weekend?”
“I want to Jeri, I really do.”
“But you can’t.” Jerilyn wanted to whine and beg but that would only make them both miserable without changing anything.
“I can’t.” He sounded as unhappy as she felt but it had to be an act. Otherwise, he wouldn’t work so much.
“Then take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough exercise and eat right. With all the hours you put in you can afford decent food.”
“I love you, sweetheart. You take care of yourself too.” Jerilyn believed he loved her, she just didn’t believe he loved her enough. At least not enough for her.
“I love you too.” She meant it, but she knew she no longer loved him enough either. She ended the call and went to bed. Coming to a decision the night before gave her a measure of peace but she still hadn’t been able to sleep. Tonight was shaping up the same way. For the second night in a row, she considered having an affair.
She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world, but she also knew she could find a guy easy enough. But the thought of picking up some random guy to have sex with repulsed her. It made her feel like she didn’t respect herself plus there was too much danger of disease and pregnancy. She quit taking the pill over a year ago when it became clear Antony wasn’t interested in sex anymore. He tried to give her all the attention she wanted, but he was always too tired. So if she didn’t want a guy, that left a woman and she had no idea how to seduce a woman. Or even where to find a woman to seduce. The frustrating predicament got her out of bed and had her pacing the apartment.
What was wrong with her, anyway? Why did Antony pull away from her? She didn’t have a body like the woman living downstairs, but she wasn’t repulsive. It never seemed to bother Antony that she barely filled and “a” cup. He said he liked her small breasts, especially when she Maltepe Escort didn’t wear a bra and bent over. He looked down her shirt and saw her nipples, something a big breasted woman couldn’t do. The woman downstairs could bend over and no matter what she wore, there was no looking down her shirt and seeing anything but cleavage.
What about the woman downstairs? Jerilyn realized she saw people come to her apartment every day, stay for an hour or so then leave. What kind of job did a woman have where men and women came by every day? Perhaps a drug dealer? No, that didn’t feel right. All the people coming by looked respectable, not like drug users and the schedule was too consistent. No, it had to be something else.
She closed her eyes and tried to picture the people coming and going. They all looked more relaxed when they left. Jerilyn’s face split into a wide grin. There was only one possibility, the woman was a professional sex worker. It fit all the evidence. The fact she serviced women solved all her problems. She could go to a professional and get the contact she needed while avoiding all the pitfalls of an affair. Having sex with an expert wasn’t like cheating, it was a business transaction. With no emotions involved there wouldn’t be any messy repercussions. If someone gave her the physical attention she craved, it should satisfy her long enough to make Antony see reason and come back to her. When he did, she could stop seeing the prostitute and not have to worry about hurt feelings. If Antony didn’t come back, well at least she’d still be sane.
With her plan formed and perfected Jerilyn finally managed to go to sleep.
The next afternoon, after she finished her chores, she took a long bath then took extra time with her make-up and hair. The clothes she picked were easy to get in and out of. No reason to waste time getting undressed. After all, she wanted a service, not a seduction, which is also why she skipped underwear. The point was to get naked and get an orgasm, not to put on a show.
When she finished preparing, she looked in the mirror and liked what she saw. It was time to take care of herself for once instead of waiting on a man who wouldn’t come home, even on the weekends. She stuffed money in her purse and marched out the door determined to have a long overdue good time.
Jerilyn rushed down the stairs and knocked on the door before she gave herself a chance to reconsider. The door opened to an incredibly beautiful woman.
“Um, hi.” Now that Jerilyn was faced with the reality of her decision, she didn’t know what to say. In her fantasies of self gratification she got right to the sex, she had no idea how to initiate this in the real world. “My name is Jerilyn. I’m your upstairs neighbor.”
“Hello Jerilyn, I’m Rain.” She held out a hand to shake with a wide, friendly smile. “I’m glad to meet you.”
Jerilyn shook the hand, taken a bit off guard. “You can call me Jeri.” She always pictured sex workers as hard women with cold, suspicious eyes. Rain’s face looked like an open book and her large hazel eyes made her look innocent and maybe even naive. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Like what?” Rain pushed her dirty-blond hair over her shoulder and stepped back inviting Jerilyn in.
“I’ve never asked, you know, someone for professional services before.” She hurried past Rain to hide her blush.
“Oh.” Rain sounded a little surprised but didn’t seem to care. “How did you find out about me?”
“I spend a lot of time people-watching on my balcony and figured it out.” Jerilyn looked around the apartment, too nervous to look at Rain.
“I usually get clients through word of mouth and wondered who we have in common.” Rain had a sweet laugh. “It sounds like you need my services. You’re wound way too tight. Don’t worry, once I’m done, you’ll be so relaxed you won’t remember how to walk.”
“God, I hope so.” Jerilyn took a deep breath and finished looking at the apartment, though she couldn’t describe a single piece of furniture to save her life. When she faced Rain, she noticed the loose blouse the woman had on. It hung to her knees but the thin fabric clung to her curves. “So how does this work? Do I need to make an appointment?”
“Nope. I’m finished with my clients so I can do you now. If you have the time, that is.”
I’ve got nothing but time, thought Jerilyn. “Now is perfect.”
“Go into that room and take off your clothes. You’ll find some towels set out on the counter, go ahead and wrap one around yourself. Normally I’d do it in there, but the light is so good out here today I set my equipment up near the window.”
Equipment? Jerilyn paused half way to the door. “I didn’t think you needed equipment.” Jerilyn considered changing her mind, she pictured something much more personal and sensual. Then again, the less personal it was, the less like cheating it would be. This was not about a relationship, it was about dealing with her needs. “Perfect. What kind of equipment do Maltepe Escort Bayan you use?” Jerilyn closed the door behind her. A few chests of drawers lined the walls but other than that it was empty. She always imagined a prostitutes bedroom being more romantic or at least having a bed.
Rain answered her while Jerilyn stripped. The words were muffled by the door so Jerilyn had no idea what she said. Did she say sable? Or maybe it was label. Label made more sense, maybe she said something about brand labels. She set her clothes on a counter then wrapped herself in a towel.
When Jerilyn came out Rain was tugging a snug t-shirt into place. “Mostly, though, I have all my oils out here.” Rain had a body like a gymnast. She looked like . . . hell, Jerilyn saw bikini models who looked less perfect than Rain did, and they were photoshopped! “The rest is handwork.” Well, that answered how she would make Jerilyn come. Lubrication made sense, Jerilyn didn’t feel very excited, the whole situation felt too awkward.
Rain turned to face Jerilyn. The woman had boobs like nobodies business which made her instantly jealous. Jerilyn barely filled an “a” cup and this woman . . . they had to be fake, which made Jerilyn feel a little better. She could have breasts that big if she wanted to pay for them. Jerilyn chastised herself for being so bitchy. Of course the woman had big breasts, her body was her job. Hell, she should be happy, she was about to take advantage of the woman’s body.
“Now what?” Jerilyn’s mouth went dry. She struggled to erase all thoughts of her upbringing from her mind. All those lessons about loyalty and fidelity and same sex prejudices screamed that this was wrong.
To hell with that. Her parents drove her sister away with their puritanical strictness and she wasn’t far behind. Getting away from them was half the reason she married so young. She squared her shoulders and marched across the room. She intended to do this and damn it, she meant to enjoy it.
“Climb on the table and lay on your stomach.” Rain patted the table she stood next too.
“Table?” That’s what she said, table, not label. “Won’t that be uncomfortable?”
“Nope. It’s made just for this purpose. Now hop on and I’ll take care of you.”
“Shouldn’t we, you know, kiss or something?”
Rain blinked a couple of times, pursed her lips and tilted her head. “Did you say kiss?”
“Um, maybe.” Jerilyn felt herself go crimson. This was such a bad idea. “I told you, I’ve never done this before. All I know about it is what I’ve seen on tv. Can you explain what’s going to happen?”
Rain looked blank, like this never happened. Jerilyn considered leaving before she humiliated herself even more. Then Rain shrugged. “It’s not complicated. You get on the table and I oil up my hands and start rubbing.”
“No foreplay?” She saw that working on men, but every woman she ever talked to complained they never got enough foreplay.
“Foreplay?” Rain’s head jerked back. “What does foreplay have to do with anything?”
“Isn’t it part of the job?”
“Not in this state, and even if it was, I don’t do that.”
“You don’t? Aren’t you a… you know. A… prostitute?” Jerilyn whispered the last word, like it was a dangerous secret.
“No.” Rain drew the word out as her lips twitched. “I’m a masseuse. I also read cards and do henna tattoos.”
“Oh my god.” Jerilyn swayed as the blood drained from her head. She steadied herself with a hand on the table while she covered her mouth with the other. This humiliation was Gods punishment for breaking her vows. “A masseuse.” What did Rain think of her? Not only did she call this woman a prostitute, she called them both lesbians. This was beyond endurable. Jerilyn bolted for the door.
As Jerilyn stepped through the door, she saw Rain come for her.
“Jeri, wait! It’s all-.”
Jerilyn slammed the door shut on Rain’s words and ran for the stairs. She took a step when the towel was ripped off her body. It was stuck in the door. Oh god, she was naked in public! She shoved one hand between her legs and covered her breasts with her arm. She agonized which hand to use to grab the towel when she saw the doorknob turn. Rain was coming.
With a tiny little shriek Jerilyn abandoned all modesty and ran. As she pounded up the stairs, her tiny breasts bounced on her chest. They were so small she almost never felt them do that. For a brief moment she found herself aroused by being naked outside and feeling her breasts move. Then reality crashed back down and she doubled her efforts to get back to her apartment.
She reached her floor and ran for her door, the last on the right. Jerilyn grabbed the doorknob. It was locked. “Oh fuck!” Jeri’s mind blanked. Her keys were back in the apartment of a masseuse she just called a lesbian hooker. She twisted the doorknob with all her strength, trying to break it.
She heard someone come up the stairs and froze, staring at her traitorous door.
“Here, put Escort Maltepe this on.” Rain held up a robe like a gentleman holding a lady’s coat.
Jerilyn felt tears of shame and humiliation slide down her cheeks as she slid her arms in the sleeves. A couple of those tears were of gratitude.
“It’s ok.” Rain sounded like she was trying not to laugh. “Take a deep breath and try to relax.”
“I’m sorry.” Jerilyn barely got the words past the lump in her throat.
“It’s all good, honey.” This time Rain didn’t smother her giggle. “Lets get back to my place and I’ll fix you a drink. What do you want, tea or wine?”
“I’ve got that too.” Rain led Jerilyn back to her apartment and placed her on the couch. “You sit there and I’ll get you that drink.”
“I have never been so humiliated in my life.” Grateful, Jerilyn accepted the drink and gulped it down.
“You want another?”
Jerilyn closed here eyes and bowed her head. “Yes, please.” A few seconds later Rain poured more scotch into the empty glass.
“You might want to take it a bit slower with this one.” Rain sat on the couch next to her but far enough away to give Jerilyn space.
“Thank you.” Jerilyn sipped the scotch, feeling the alcohol warm her stomach.
“Let me get this straight. You saw people come and go from my apartment and decided I was a sex worker.” Jerilyn looked at Rain expecting to see insult but Rain’s eyes danced with mirth. “My mother would be intrigued.”
“Intrigued? Not shamed or angry?”
“Look around. I’m a third generation hippy. My mom would want to know how taking money for sex was following my bliss.”
Jerilyn did look around, finally seeing the place. New Age decorations mixed with modern conveniences. It didn’t look like a place designed for seduction and anonymous sex. All in all, it felt homey and comfortable.
“I grew up with the free love mentality. My family would find it troubling if I charged for something they raised me to give away.” Rain radiated amusement and sipped her drink while she studied Jerilyn.
“You don’t seem offended. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad.” Jerilyn sighed, relieved that her hands stopped shaking. “Most women would have left me naked outside and figured I got what I deserved.”
“You know way too many women who have no sense of humor. What has me curious is why you came here looking for a prostitute.”
“I, um.” Jerilyn had no idea how to respond.
“Obviously you wanted sex.” Rain put her feet on the coffee table and looked way too relaxed. “Are you gay or curious?”
“No!” Jerilyn spat out a reflexive denial then forced herself to relax. “Sorry. Sometimes my upbringing makes me rude. I don’t think I’m gay and curiosity isn’t it either. Frankly, I didn’t think it through. It’s been a long time since I’ve been touched and sex with a woman seemed less like cheating on my husband.” Jerilyn moaned and covered her face with her free hand. “I’m so pathetic.”
“Nope, not pathetic, just lonely.” Rain downed the rest of her drink and stood up.
“I’m glad you think so. I doubt I’ll ever be able to look at myself again.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m a third generation hippy, remember? I was raised to believe people’s feelings are never pathetic.” She took Jeri’s empty glass and set it on the table then held out a hand to help Jerilyn to her feet. “Now, if it’s being touched you want, I can help.”
Jerilyn stared at the proffered hand. “Um, I’m not in the mood.”
Rain threw back her head and laughed a full bodied laugh that reminded Jerilyn of crystal chimes. “I didn’t mean sex, silly. I’m a masseuse. Let me give you a massage. It’ll help relax you.”
“I don’t think it will.”
“I’ll get you another towel. I’m a professional, think of me as a doctor.”
“I don’t want another towel. Ever.”
“You’re being silly.” Rain grabbed Jeri’s hand and hauled her to her feet. “You can leave the robe on if it makes you feel better. The massage won’t be as good, but I think you’ll still benefit.”
“No, I’m . . . ” Jerilyn balanced on the edge of rejecting Rain’s offer but realized she didn’t have a reason to. Rain offered a massage, but nothing about her manner suggested the offer included girl-girl sex. Maybe Jerilyn still had a chance to get the contact she craved. After all, nothing changed with her situation. The only deference between now and an hour ago was the knowledge that Rain wasn’t a prostitute.
“It’s because I saw you naked, isn’t it?” Rain interrupted Jeri’s thoughts and she forgot what they were talking about.
“You don’t want to get a massage because you feel vulnerable because I saw you naked.”
“No, that’s not-.”
“Will it make you feel better if I’m naked too?”
Getting massaged by a naked woman? Jerilyn didn’t imagine being touched and rubbed and kneaded by a nude woman could be relaxing. Then again, didn’t she come down here to get touched and rubbed by a naked woman? What the hell, if Rain offered, why not? “That might help.”
“Good. You can go get another towel, if you want.” Rain pulled her shirt over her head revealing her breasts. Jerilyn was no expert but if she had to guess, those breasts were perfect. And real, damn her. No one should be built like that without surgery. It wasn’t fair to the rest of their gender.
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