Part 1 – A Curious Man

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My fantasies are almost always about women but I have had desires for other sexual encounters. To this day I have never fantasised about a relationship with a specific man or about any men I have ever known.

But I try everything…. at least once.

It was at University that I first became jealous, women’s clothes were so soft and gentle, my clothes were hard to the touch and dry, coarse against the skin, cut and designed for practicality, no softness or grace to them. When men were smart they just wore suits, black or grey, pin stripe isn’t different — its just black or grey striped with grey or black.

A couple of times when using the University communal dryers a pair of panties would be left behind, sometimes I would masturbate with them but I began to try them on. Feeling them against my skin, so soft and smooth, I began to shave and wear them into town, they made me feel so naughty. The feeling was amazing and the more times I tried it the more I wanted to and the more items I wanted to wear.

It wasn’t until after university that I began to wonder about other things, naturally I wondered about pleasure, how different was the pleasure women felt? I knew what it was like to penetrate a woman, to feel her against me and then orgasm inside her but what was it like to receive? Was it better? If you were penetrated, if you were fucked by a big hard cock, a big hard veiny cock until it came inside you, pumping its hot sticky juice inside you, using you for its pleasure, then maybe you wouldn’t have orgasmed, maybe you could take another cock inside you.

Sometimes I masturbated to the idea of being fucked, being used for someone else’s pleasure, and sometimes became more often. I would dream of being the centre of a gangbang, faceless cocks hanging in the air around me and thrust bursa merkez escort into my mouth, penetrating my arse or being wanked in my hands. My secret desire to be the slut everyone wanted to have.

It wasn’t long before I bought my first dildo, I’m not sure how big it was but I was in my late teens and still living at home and I didn’t have any lube, the best I could find was my mother’s hair conditioner — after some trial and error — the conditioner didn’t sting inside me and it was smooth, also it was white so it added to the fantasy, seeing all the white goo on me.

I started with that and slowly expanded, in many ways, by the time I was 23 I had used several different dildos, always trying to reach anal orgasm, sometimes when my parents were out I would spend hours on the dildo, riding it furiously, dreaming that some unknown figure with a cock would come in and fuck me senseless and leave me in a pile of on the floor, cum oozing out of me and over my face but it never happened.

Over time I tried my own cum, all different ways, ejaculating into a shot glass and downing it, or most often lying on my back and shooting my cum straight in to my mouth. To be really honest I loved the taste and I wanted more. I had seen the GGG porn films and I secretly wanted to be the girl in those scenes, lots of cocks wanting to cum on her and in her.

So I was left wanting and I wanted more. My first attempt was to get an anonymous cock to fill me up and, living in West London, I decided I would find a man who would be willing to fuck me in the park. After some searching on online personals I got in touch with an estate agent, he seemed nice enough and picked me up in his mini not too far from my parents house. Lots of people would talk dirty on the internet bursa escort kızlar or call me while they were wanking, I’d describe my fantasy and they would cum and then I’d never hear back from them.

I was really nervous when I met the estate agent. I had even drunk some spirits and brought alcohol with me to make me less nervous. We chatted in his car and I explained I was nervous and what I wanted, he seemed surprised by how forward I was. He was very friendly and chatty, I had hoped he would have been more forceful, maybe force my face onto his cock but he didn’t.

I told him I really wanted to suck a cock if he was ok with that and I’d love to have him cum in my mouth and I told him I wanted him to force me to swallow his cum, he looked surprised and I just explained, I really want to please people, thats my fantasy.

I told him I wanted to be used and I wanted him to fuck me after I the blowjob, to fuck me until he ejaculated inside me, claimed me as his, marked me as a slut, whatever he wanted to think of it as.

I had asked him to bring some women’s panties for me to wear, my idea was that afterwards his cum would leak out of me and onto the panties and I would walk home from the park wearing the panties feeling like a dirty slut, imagining maybe someone watching me would know and they would come over and demand sexual favours from the blatant slut that I was, even with cum already dripping out onto my legs and panties.

The estate agent pulled up in a dark lane and he unzipped his flies, he had a pleasant cock that was quite erect, I’d watched a lot of porn by now and was keen to do a good job, and I leant in and began to lick the tip, there was a little pre-cum, he was circumcised so the drops pooled at the top of his cock and I made sure to lick his cock clean of any cum as soon as it appeared, it was a prize I had waited a long time for, my cock grew hard as I tasted his cum in my mouth, I was becoming a slut.

As I was bent over awkwardly I remembered all the female porn stars I’d watched and dreamt about being them, wanted, desired and lusted after. Dreamt about having bodies like theirs so men would lust after me, as I thought about this I forced myself down further onto his cock and gently eased his balls out of his boxers and massaged them, feeling the soft skin of his balls on my palm.

By now I was bobbing up and down on his cock a bit and the pre-cum was increasing in quantity so I began to suck and swallow as I bobbed, suddenly he pushed my head onto his cock firmly and it began to ejaculate into my mouth and throat, I was worried I would choke so I gulped it down almost as quickly as the cum pulsed into my mouth, some leaked around the edge of my mouth but I caught it with my fingers and licked it up.

Even after he finished ejaculating I kept sucking a bit on his cock, I’d wanked enough to know there would be a little more cum as his cock became limp, he was obviously sensitive having just cum and tried to push me away but I considered his spunk my present, I sat up and smiled, his facial expression had changed and he seemed less friendly.

The problem was, him having spunked, his desire to fuck me in this dark lane late at night suddenly dissipated. So I was left partially satisfied, it had been some years but I had ticked off my first goal, suck a cock and swallow someone else’s cum. I did walk home but the women’s panties were in my pocket, there was no cum dripping out of me but at least I had a load inside me.

Later that evening as I shot my own cum down onto my face, my tight arse wrapped in the silky women’s panties, I made a pledge to myself. I would complete a sexual fantasy of mine each year and each fantasy would push the boundaries of the one before. My next goal, be the subject of someone else’s fantasy.