THD: Melinda – Entry Four

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Feburary 24thDear Diary,A few more weeks have passed and I’m still not feeling very cheerful. I know that I promised a more pleasant entry so I will try to keep that promise.I’m still missing him in more ways than I can say. We talk now, more frequently, like we used to. That alone fills me with a joy so great that there are few words I can find to properly express it. I get lost in the bliss of hearing his voice and every single time, without fail, he has me hanging on his every word. However, in his absence, I cannot cast the truths from my mind. They flood me with so many emotions and Hate seems to be the most prominent. I detest him for putting me in a position where I cannot tell him that I love him and for giving me no choice but to spend my days watching him live his life with someone else. Jealousy is yet another emotion that is most apparent, and it’s rather annoying, to say the very least. I despise the fact that this wretched woman has my heart’s desire by her side. The disgusting thoughts of their love that my envy brings to the forefront of my mind, only make me iller as the weeks pass. As well as even more şişli escort jealous, incidentally. I don’t know why my head chooses to vex me with vile images of their bodies entangled in sheets. But it does. Probably, a way of telling me of why I should let my love go. Nothing inherently new. My stubborn thinker refuses to allow me peace of mind while my heart feels as it does, and it seems hell bent on making me sick to my stomach with imaginations of moans of pleasure and roaming hands. As much as I try to block these images from my mind, I always find my way back to hating this woman for even existing at all. I know full well that it’s wrong to think such things but I can’t help feeling that way. In truth, I hate myself for it. We have agreed to be friends and I am trying my hardest not to break this verbal agreement but I cannot help wanting to push the boundaries either. For my own sick, self-satisfaction, I want to tell him how I still feel and to hear him say that he still loves me, too. Yet another selfish thing that shows how horrible I can actually be. But, Dear Diary, I promised you cheerful didn’t I? Well, şişli escort bayan you’ll be glad to know that a silver lining has shone through the clouds in an unexpected, delicate form with a fantastic accent that sends shivers down my spine. She has been a pleasant distraction with her sardonic sense of humor and voluptuous figure. We’ve spent countless hours these past weeks enjoying each other’s company, in addition to a lot of sexual exploration. She has lit my fire, turning my dim, little light into a roaring flame and has assisted me in wandering away from thoughts of him when I need it most. Her tantalizing demeanor entices me further with each new interaction and even more so when a combination of touching is added. Soft, strategic placements of my hands are normally what start off our more rousing encounters, which then immediately move into her placing a rough kiss on my lips while backing me into the nearest wall. Her tongue slides into my mouth within moments and my hands are quickly pinned over my head. She likes being a bit more vigorous with her sex, something I don’t mind too much these days. mecidiyeköy escort No romance involved, which I really appreciate. It doesn’t leave me feeling despicable afterward. I would say her mouth would have to be my favorite amenity. The things she can do with it are nothing short of glorious. The way she swirls it over my nipples as she works down my body is all the motivation I need to give her the orgasm she desires from me. Don’t get me wrong, everything else is wonderful as well, and she enjoys herself the most when she finally makes it between my legs. But, what I truly appreciate, is the fact that she lets me talk about him. She lets me express all my sorrows and sometimes even shed tears. She lies with me and just listens, offering advice where she can and sex where she cannot. She helps me to laugh at myself and to enjoy life like I did before, even if it is only for short periods of time. I’m glad to have her as I do and perhaps she can help me find a way to get my heart back. If that is what I truly wish to do in the coming months. Do not get your hopes up for that reality, though, because I do not think I can ever give up the man I love. If he will not let me love him for the rest of his life, then I am at least going to love him for the rest of mine. A pleasure as always, Dear Diary. Until next time. Sincerely, Melinda Chevalier  

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