No Trouble in Paradise

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He was a big guy and hot as fuck. His brown hair was a curly mop about six inches long, he had olive skin and even a touch of rose in his cheeks. I thought he was possibly the most beautiful man I had ever seen, but beautiful only gets you so far. He was naïve.

He thought we would just walk in, collect his money and walk out. It’s rarely that simple. When you design something the government really wants but doesn’t want anyone to know they have, they tend to silence the sources of potential leaks. When the “government” is really JSOC and it’s McChrystal’s thugs and torturers running the deal, naïveté can be fatal.

That’s why Solomon Agate had me. It wasn’t just me, but he, and the uniformed pirates he was dealing with, had no idea. People have the impression that military special forces are badass. They are, at what they do. When they have you out-gunned, outnumbered and surprised, they are very effective. Against wild-eyed fanatics without more than the basic information about which end of a gun goes bang, they kick ass. Against people who are better armed, better trained and who know them, not so much.

Put one of those people in any MMA gym and they don’t make it to the end of the first round against mid-level fighters. I was smarter than they were. I was also better than they were with a gun, knife, stick or rock, and they were the ones who were going to be surprised if the shit went sideways. It was my hope that they’d be honorable. I just wasn’t naïve.

In order for me to get paid, Solomon had to survive and get paid. So far as they knew, I was an attorney. I looked like an attorney. I had on a nice black and white checked skirt with a high slit, just above the knee, a nice white silk top, sensible black flats and a nice Gucci bag. My hair was up in a messy bun, and I had on my glasses. They did nothing but block UV, but only I knew that. Just a professional attorney, there to represent my client in the negotiations. I also had a.40 in a thigh holster and one in that nice bag.

I confess that I looked a little out of place in that dusty little village. We went inside the building and it was cool and quite dim in there. There was a table set up with a laptop on it, three chairs and I could see they had a satellite connection. There was an officer sitting at the table. I thought I recognized him as one of the psyops guys. There were five men in full gear standing around.

I actually knew the layout before we went in. I had chosen this location because there were lots of windows, and by now, my help from above had arrived and everyone in the room had been ranged and targeted. Yeah, my idea of “help from above” is snipers on the roofs of the adjacent buildings.

We made nice, Solomon got out his laptop, fired it up and one of the guys came over and verified. The officer, who had identified himself as Lt. Commander Todd, thanked Solomon for his service to the country.

“We need to verify that the funds have been transferred,” I said.

“Don’t you think serving your country and advancing freedom around the world is reward enough?” Todd asked Solomon.

“He’s happy to help, but he wants to be compensated,” I said. “I represent him, and anything to do with your contractual obligations, I handle, Todd.”

“Lt. Commander Todd,” he said.

“Do I look like I’m in the military to you?” I asked.

He looked around at his posse and they all got a good laugh. “Honey, I don’t think you’d last long in the military,” he said.

“I’m not your honey, and honestly, I think you’re a piece of shit,” I said. “Let’s get our business done here, and we’ll be going.”

His boys pushed themselves off the wall and I got ready to do my thing. It never came to that. David Bucannon walked through the door.

“Silas?” He walked across the room and hugged me. “What are you doing here, baby girl?”

“Hey, David.” I gave him a little squeeze. “I’m here with my client. This is Solomon Agate.”

David shook his hand. “Um… Mr. Todd, what’s going on here?”

“They were just leaving,” Todd said.

“After we get paid,” I told him.

“Mr. Todd,” David said. “If you’re planning anything shady, I hate to tell you, but we’re all dead men.”

Todd looked at him like he was crazy. “What? Agate is a computer guy, and she’s an attorney.”

“Yes, sir, she is,” David agreed. “I’m sure she’s a very good one, too. She’s also co-owner of Red Knight Solutions. If she’s here, there are a dozen guys out there looking through scopes at us, right now. Any one of them could likely take your whole team. Umm… I’m not sure if you know it, but she likely wouldn’t need them. This lady is a hurricane.”

I nearly blushed. I could tell Todd wasn’t a believer. “Show them,” I said My mic picked it up and a little green circle appeared on Todd’s chest, right in the middle. He looked down and got very kaçak iddaa still. I thought his faith level went up to around 100.

Solomon was looking at me like I’d grown a third eye. “What?” I asked.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing came out and he looked foolish. “We need to verify the transfer of our funds,” I told Todd.

He moved very slowly, made a few keystrokes and then turned the laptop around for me. I verified with my phone, and the money was there. “Walk us out,” I told him.

He nodded to his men, got up carefully and we followed him to our vehicle. David tagged along. “You’re hanging with some… less than professional people,” I told him.

He shrugged and smiled ruefully. “It’s great to see you, Silas,” he said. “Say hi to your dad for me. Tell him I’ll be around to get him drunk in a couple of months.”

I laughed. “I’m sure he’s looking forward to that. Somehow, I think he’ll be carrying you into the house, though.”

Todd had no clue what was happening, and neither did Solomon, but I’d known David since I was three years old. He’d saved some lives in there, and they should be grateful to him. I was. I hate thieves. Todd had zero respect, in my estimation. He disgusted me.

Something a lot of men don’t know about women: once we lose respect for a man, everything he does disgusts us. I couldn’t be bothered to keep track of which brand of spooks David was with, but him, I respected. He knew what he wanted: lots of money, he was absolutely loyal to the people paying him and he would never fuck over a friend. Todd was just an animal who tortured and murdered people for his government, and that made him the worst sort of scum, in my opinion.

In an hour we were over the border, and Solomon visibly relaxed. He threw back his head and laughed. “Christ, Silas,” he said. “That was a fucking adrenaline rush like I’ve never felt. What do you do for an encore?”

I glanced over at him. “I can dance,” I told him. “Do you dance, by any chance?”

He grinned, and it was very charming. “I’ve been known to bust a move or two.”


I had on my nice black dress I’d packed, and heads turned when I walked into the club. Solomon’s mouth hung open like a dolt, and I had to laugh. “You’re catching flies, Dude,” I said.

He laughed and closed his mouth. He said he could dance, but he lied. The man had three left feet, and they were all over mine. He was big, hugely muscled and hot as fuck, though. It was a nice club, and we danced and got lit. When you make a lot of money, walk out of a very dangerous situation without a scratch and make it back to a safe place, you’re entitled to let your hair down. Mine was. I have a lot of hair, and I’d had it straightened three days before we left. Without shrinkage, it’s down to my butt, and I know how I look. Solomon seemed to like me.

“What’s next for you?” he asked as we sat in our booth between dances.

“I take my retirement in installments,” I said. “You paid me enough to stay retired for a while.”

“Where do you live?” he asked.

I looked at him. “Why would you need to know that?”

He shrugged and blushed a little. “Um… I was thinking about asking you on a date.” He looked hopeful, like a little boy asking his mom for something. It was as charming as everything else about him.

“Solomon, you’re a good guy,” I told him. “I like you, and under other circumstances, I might enjoy the hell out of a date.”

“What are the ‘other circumstances,’ and how do we make those happen?” he asked.

“First, ‘we’ don’t do shit,” I said. “I’m flying out at 10AM, and you’re going to disappear for a while, remember? You’re a wealthy man, Solomon. Follow the plan I set up and you’ll live to spend it. Second, I don’t date clients.”

“Where’s home?” he asked.

“Honiara,” I said.

“Um… well, I never heard of it,” he said. “What state is that in?”

I was having fun with him. ” Guadalcanal,” I told him. He looked dumbfounded.

“Like the battle?”


“Come on, Silas, you’re killing me here,” he complained.

“I live in the Solomon Islands, Solomon.” I had to laugh that I was telling “Solomon” that I lived in the “Solomons.” I put him out of his misery. I had to laugh at his expression. “Can I call you Sol?” I asked.

“You can call me anything if you’ll go on a date with me,” he said. He chuckled. “Most people do call me Sol. Solomon is a dumb fucking name.” He glanced up at me. “Sorry… that just came out.”

“I hate to tell you, but I curse a lot,” I told him.

He laughed. “Yes, I can imagine you do. So, what about that date?”

The man was persistent, I had to give him that. “Sol, you live in Santa Monica; I live 10,000 miles away. You’re spending the next six months in… seclusion. How do you envision this working?”

He gave me a boyish looking grin that was hella attractive. “I’m wealthy, remember? You made sure I would be. After I do the ‘disappearing for a while’ thing in your plan, will you go out with kaçak bahis me? I’ll pay for you a ticket to come to LA, or better yet, I’ll come to… to… what the hell did you say the name of the place was?”

I had to giggle. “Honiara.”

“Yeah, there. I’ve never been to an island before.”

“You do your disappearing thing,” I told him. “If you’re still alive, after, give me a call.”

He pumped his fist. “Oh, yeah. You are the hottest woman I’ve ever known, Silas. A bad bitch, too.”

He was a charmer, all right. I gave him a number, and he looked puzzled. “I already have your number.”

“No, you don’t,” I said. “That was a number for this job. Once we leave here, it’ll stop working.”

“Oh… that makes sense,” he said. “Should I get rid of my phone?”

“Read the plan, Sol. It’s all in there, but yes, you should.”

We danced a few more times, my feet survived, and went to our hotel. I dropped him at the airport the next morning, he boarded the private plane we had for him and he was on his way to South America. I was on my way to a secure location.

I really thought we were home free. Turned out, I was mistaken, but not so mistaken I was caught without panties. I have a pretty good information network. If people just knew, the intel agencies are a bunch of amateurs. If you want quick, reliable intel, hire a security company. We can get it faster and it will be accurate. It won’t be cheap, but it will be good.

I knew when they landed and my team was in place. When they came over the wall where I was staying in Lithuania, all dressed to kill, everyone went down. Even tough guys struggle with a taser to the neck. I had everyone restrained. When they recovered, I told my boys to cut Lt. Commander Todd loose.

“You’re a fucking joke, Todd,” I told him. He seemed to be listening. I suspected he was more accustomed to running his mouth and people thinking he was a bad-ass. He was about to learn differently. If I had thought he was dangerous, this would have gone differently. He wasn’t, he just thought he was. I was taller and stronger than he was. I was also quicker and better trained.

This wasn’t torturing some poor freedom fighter. “Stand up,” I said.

He did, and I told him to walk around a little, shake off the effects of the taser. “I don’t want anyone to get the idea that I took advantage of you in a weakened state,” I told him.

He was all bluster, laughing in the face of danger, he thought. I could hear the undercurrent of fear in his laugh. I was way more confident than he thought I should be. “What about your men?” he asked.

“They’re going to watch,” I told him. “You’re just going to watch,” I told them. “If Todd is still mobile, he walks. Understand?”

“Yeah, boss,” Tiny said. His name was a joke.

“Let’s dance.”

Todd had some training, somewhere. I’d likely trained the people who trained him, or someone like me had. He came at me in a good position. Unfortunately, he thought we were going to kickbox, or some shit. I could do that, too, but that would take too long and I was bored.

I went for a shot and he didn’t know how to sprawl. I got a double-leg, and he was on his back. I mounted him and gave him an elbow to the nose before he recovered from his impact with the ground. His nose broke, the blood gushed and he cried out in pain, his arms coming up to ward off blows.

That was another mistake. I grabbed one of those arms, moved quickly over him into an arm-bar, and broke his arm. He screamed, but I was already moving, swinging around to trap his other arm with my legs so that he was in a crucifix with his back on top of me.

I gave him four elbow strikes to the face and he went limp. I got up and dusted myself off, then straddled his belly, my elbows on his chest for leverage and my hands locked behind his head.

“Pour some water on his face,” I told Tiny.

He sputtered and was coming around, still very disoriented. I pulled his head up in a neck-crank. He was looking up into my face when it started to become painful. “Are you listening, dumb-ass?” I asked.

He didn’t answer and I pulled on that hold. He screamed. “Do you want to die?” I asked.

“No!” He choked it out.

“I think you do,” I said.

“No, please!” The smell of urine wafted up. He had pissed himself.

He was a tough guy, all right. “It took me less than a minute to destroy you,” I told him. “I could break your neck right now, and no one would ever find your body. You know that, right?” I increased the pressure.

“Yes!” he screamed. “Please, don’t!”

“Am I ever going to see you or any of your dogs again?” I asked.

“No, we won’t bother you,” he groaned. “I was just following orders.”

Now I was really disgusted. “So were the Nazi death camp guards. I don’t follow orders, Todd. It’s all personal with me. Do you understand?” I gave his neck a tweak.

“Yes!” he screamed.

His neck was going to be hurting for a while. My arms were getting tired. I head-butted him in the face, turned illegal bahis him loose and stood. He lay there, sobbing brokenly.

“Zip him up, splint that arm, take them out in the forest, strip them naked and turn them loose,” I told Tiny. “Make sure they’re headed in the right direction.”

“Got it, boss,” he said.

I went back inside. I was hoping they were smarter than I thought they were. It was going to be hella cold out there in the forest.


A week later, the right people got an encrypted email out of the Ivory Coast. It mentioned embarrassing details no one wanted uncovered, referenced Solomon’s program and advised that any potential problems that involved their deal to get the program would result in a scandal they wouldn’t be able to paper over in their lifetimes. Heads would roll, and that was the end of the matter. People who knew got involved, I’m sure, and sanity prevailed. They called off the dogs.

A month later, I was home. I was drinking a chocolate Manhattan, lying on the beach under an umbrella, when I saw her. God, she was hot. She was a tourist; I knew all the locals. She looked about five-nine, she had a nice tan going on, her soft brunette hair hanging in heavy waves to her butt. What a butt that was, too. Round, firm, muscular and spectacular. She looked naked from behind, but when she turned, I saw a little yellow string bikini that left her cheeks bare and beautiful.

That face: it was model perfect, high cheekbones, huge dark eyes that glowed like molten honey in the sun, full lips, a broad high forehead and a little pointed chin. She looked young, and I was to later discover she was 24. At 32, I thought she looked like a baby. A gorgeous sexy baby.

Her belly had ab definition when she flexed and her breasts were just spectacular. They were high, firm, and looked like nice suckable handfuls. They weren’t out of proportion huge, but definitely eye-catching. I was instantly attracted to her, and she seemed like she was alone.

Ever since I’d known enough to understand anything about sex, I’d known I was attracted to both men and women, and she was certainly reminding me why. I wanted her to notice me, but for some reason, I was feeling awkward as fuck.

She had on some nice Oakleys, the kind that you can change the “O” to different colors. She put down her towel and bag, and I saw her squint up at the sun. It was a brilliant day. She put on sun block, and she was making me nuts. I saw her glance over at the shade of my umbrella and she smiled at me. I patted the sand on the other side in invitation.

She shot me another smile, white teeth flashing, lighting up that gorgeous face, gathered up her things and came over. “Hi,” I said, “can’t have you roasting over there. I’m Silas.”

She put down her towel, looking a little shy. When she spoke, it was with a delightful French accent. “Hello, Silas. I am Chelane. Yes, the sun is very bright today. Thanks for sharing your umbrella.”

“Well, you’re too beautiful to roast,” I told her. She blushed a little and it was adorable. “Where are you from?”

“I’m living in France, and attending the University of Aix-Marseille. I am from Botswana, though. My father is an executive for a large mining company. Do you live here?”

I nodded. “I do. I moved here from the US when I graduated from college. I sort of own a security company with my dad.”

She made a cute little frown. “Like security guards?”

I laughed. “Yes, some of those. Really well-trained ones, though. How long have you been here, and how long are you staying, Chelane? Sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

She laughed. “No, it’s okay. I just arrived yesterday, but I’m staying two weeks.”

“Sweet,” I said. “You got plans? Just chill on the beach, or do touristy things?”

“I don’t really have plans,” she said. “I’m just going to wander around, see what’s up and do whatever I want. If I see something that looks fun, I’ll do it.”

“Well, if you need a tour guide, Silas is your hookup,” I said. “I know this place pretty well.”

“I’m just doing tourist stuff,” she said, giving me a blinding smile.

“Would you like a drink?” I asked. “Are you old enough?”

She laughed. “Yes, I’m old enough. What are you drinking?”

I explained, and she wanted one. I had all the ingredients in my cooler: rye, apple brandy, sweet vermouth, crème de cacao, cocoa bitters, and even some cherries for a garnish. I used my shaker, and she was soon sipping away.

“Mmm… this is good,” she said. Everything about her was sultry beauty, even her voice.

We swam a little when we got hot, got a little buzzed and became comfortable with each other. As evening approached, I told her I was getting hungry, and asked her if she’d like to have dinner with me.

It turned out she was staying at the Coral Sea resort, and Hayden’s there was a good restaurant. We agreed to meet at the restaurant in an hour, so I went home, grabbed a quick shower and put on a nice yellow dress. It made my dark complexion pop, was very short and form fitting. I put my hair up, checked myself in the mirror, and thought I looked nice. I looked over my shoe collection and chose some platform sandals with strings that wrapped my calves.

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