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A part of me just wanted me to whip this veil back and confront Kijus… But what grounds would I have to confront him on? He was not wrong for…living his life. I just was deeply hurt the he kept such a secret from me. I wanted to know every detail about him down to his thought process.
Kijus however was a very guarded person. Getting to know him on a deep personal level would be a task far greater than ending an Oriental War. He’d divert my every attempt. I, though, would never take that chance. I wouldn’t risk throwing my heart out only for it to get slammed to the ground by someone that was on a grander level of thinking than I was.
This Illisian guy though, he had to be something great. If he could interest Kijus in such a way to make him smile and want more, then he was a gifted man. Kijus was a challenge that no mere attractive man could take. The man of interest had to be incredibly intelligent simply to keep pace with Kijus. Even then, there had to be some mutual intrigue, something there that made him special. I just wanted to know what made this guy so great.
“I finally figured you out.” Kijus smiled. The Illisian simply stared at him.
“Well you tracked me down through this huge ass town…”
“You really were trying to prepare me for this place in the most upfront way possible. I kind of got to say thank you but it didn’t prepare me for all the horrors I’d see.” Kijus said to him. The Illisian leaned in with elbows poised on the table, palms supporting his chin.
“So you’ve explored the town, I see?”
“Yeah, I had no choice. I had to find you again.” Kijus smiled. The Illisian looked on skeptical.
“Why? You clearly showed little if any interest in me and as I told you, our beliefs are vastly different.” Kijus looked off seemingly tongue stricken.
“…I don’t know.” He responded. The Illisian began to smile.
“Well surely there must be some reason you wanted me to come… I’m not buying this whole, thank you, thing.”
“You really don’t think I’m sincere? Trust me, if you hadn’t treated me the way you did, a lot of shit would have ended much differently than it did. Maybe you saved a few lives….” Kijus smiled.
“Seriously?” The tall Illisian said, his skepticism completely obvious. Kijus, truly not the one for being doubted, got to his feet. With a smile he began to walk past the gorgeous Illisian.
“I clearly made a mistake…” Kijus said politely. The Illisian grabbed him by his arm, chuckling at the boy.
“So you were serious.” The Illisian realized, “sit back down… Don’t leave.”
Kijus, unsure if this idea was still any good retook his seat. The Illisian just watched him with this boyish smile, a mix of lust, wonder and mass respect. The stare made Kijus giddy.
“What?” Kijus asked.
“You’re like so damn gorgeous and don’t even know it.”
“Aesthetics are petty to me. One should look deeper than one’s skin.” Kijus hinted.
“Then…you’re fucking beautiful and you know it completely.” The Illisian teased. The compliment wasn’t taken too well by Kijus.
“I really hate compliments…” Kijus said with a slow head shake.
“Well in this town, expect to get them.” The Illisian continued. He made a smile draw on Kijus’s face. The boy blushed, the charm of the tall dark Illisian getting to him.
“I mean…” Kijus said, not being able to come to words.
“Embrace it. You’re a gorgeous being on the inside and out. And this is no mere flattery. You truly should acknowledge the fact that you’re aesthetically something of a marvel.” The Illisian said.
“And do what with it, flaunt it? Trust me, I love myself enough to be secure with my… aesthetics… I just love myself enough to not let my aesthetics dictate how I interact with others. Not to sound conceited but trust me, I know I’m something quite sought after…especially in this city…” Kijus said.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” The Illisian laughed.
“It is a bad thing! I don’t like temptation…”
“Temptation? Well look at you in Temptation City…The biggest way to lose your money, credibility, freedom and even life in all of the Caucasus.”
“No joke about that…”
“It seems you had yourself an experience.” The Illisian inferred.
“…Nothing other than what I’ve seen on the streets. I mean I’ve read of things of such so I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. Plus, I had to do some things to find you.” Kijus smiled. The Illisian was intrigued.
“Things?” He asked.
“Nothing sexual! I see that look in your eye!” Kijus giggled.
“I believe you, don’t worry.”
“So,” Kijus began, “Where can I find you on a regular?”
“I live in the upper Bolt District in the Ion subdivisions, Class A. I tend to be home in the day time. My shift starts in the late evening.” The Illisian answered.
“I’ll be sure to visit you sometime.” Kijus giggled.
“You will huh?” The Illisian said, hinting at something other than Kijus’s intent.
“Don’t Ankara bayan escort ruin it.” Kijus advised.
The date ended. The two hugged, parting ways obviously not being the first time they met over the course of the past few weeks. However it was the first time they met with the ambitions on furthering their relationship.
“This was soooo rich…” Roi said. I looked at him, completely disenchanted. “What?”
“I mean, I just wish he’d had told us he was looking for someone. We could have helped him find him without him having to go through…whatever. I thought he trusted us.” I said.
“I don’t know what to say. I mean the boy fixed my issues with Jon. I couldn’t ask for more. You might be on your own bro.” Roi said.
“Really?” I hissed.
“Of course not… I mean I don’t know how to go about this but, hell, I’ll be there!” He smiled.
“I don’t know how to go about this either.” I sighed.
The two of us left, heading back to the upper ring. It was nightfall when we arrived back home. I could not manage to go to sleep for anything. All I could do was think about Kijus. Eventually I went through my archive and found a book to read. I stayed up doing so to the following morning. I showered then went to breakfast.
Expecting to be the first one at the brunch table, it was surprising to see Kijus sitting there with his journal and pen, writing vigorously.
“Hi.” He said without looking up.
“Hey…” I responded dryly. I was very much happy to see him but after seeing him with the tall and handsome Illisian, I was a bit bitter.
“I’m so hungry.” He said with a giggle. I couldn’t help but chuff with a gram of delight.
“So what have you been up to?” I asked.
“…I’ve been trying to sort out some family issues. As of now though…I’ve been exploring the city, doing some research, heading to the archives… I might want to stay here inevitably.” He said, still continuing to write.
“What are you writing?” He had a long delay. I was beginning to think he wouldn’t respond.
“…Nothing…” He finally said back. It was oh so very clear that he had little trust for me. After I’ve opened up to him about some things, welcomed him into my family and made him one of ours, this boy was sitting here with no trust in me! It was a jarring realization, one that was so battering; I could have almost drawn a tear.
I wanted to leap across the table and throttle him to ask him “WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME!” but it’d show just how I was. I don’t know if I could live with myself if he knew just how bad I wanted to be his. He’d reject me so swiftly it’d send me into a very gnarly tailspin. I’d probably get depressed, become something like my brother. I didn’t want to risk it.
Breakfast was as awkward as it generally was. Mother and Pa were having their issues, sitting near one another but not making eye contact, putting up this front as though everything was alright though it wasn’t. My brother was off somewhere; probably have early sunrise sex with Jon in some strange location to feed his ridiculous sex drive. Brija was staring lustfully at Kijus causing the boy to eat with strange apprehension.
It was just a normal day I guess but all of this was starting to get to me. Upon finishing my plate, I got up to leave. I went to the aviary to check on the falcons. They all were well in their enclosures, not needing much attention. Upon attempting to leave, I was stopped by my friends. They stood before me with concern.
“You’ve been avoiding us the past few days. You haven’t ditched us for that Southerner have you?” Miles asked.
“Guys, I’m not in the mood.” I sighed brushing past them. Snare put his hand on my shoulder.
“You can’t be serious right now…” Snare said.
“Lay off!!! I need to figure some shit out!” I hissed.
“Dude, what’s going on?” Miles continued.
“I just need to figure some things out.” I responded, walking back to the palace without looking back.
“Why don’t you ever talk to us?” Miles asked.
“Because you all are insensitive idiots.” I said bluntly.
Entering the palace, I went up stairs. I stopped at Kijus’s door. I didn’t know why but something was telling me simply to knock. Giving in to the impulse, I did such. Kijus opened to door with little to any clothes on, simply the riding tights he so loved to wear. No matter how delicious he was looking, I would not give in to my impulses.
“You caught me at a bad time.” He giggled.
“Well it’s fine. We can talk later.”
“No,” He said, “You can come in.”
I entered the room all too eagerly. He sat on the sectionals writing away on a long letter. Papers were scattered everywhere and his journal was closed for once.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m writing my grandmother again..”
“You two must be really close.”
“She’s essentially my mother…” He said, not looking up once.
“Well, what happened to your mother?” I asked.
“She was stolen by a tribe of bandits, never to be heard Escort bayan Ankara from again…The same with my older sister. They bandits killed my father, leaving me, my grandmother and my younger sister to try to continue on with his work.” He said with no emotion at all.
“Damn…” I gasped. It was just unfathomable how he could just sit here and not be haunted by this fact.
“Well, we’re generally opposed to guns but after that, my grandmother picked up a buck rifle and a few handguns just in case things ever got bad like that again. She said she would not lose another child without a battle.” He continued.
“I’m sorry to hear this.” I said, feeling full sympathy.
“Don’t be. We stay on a frontier. It’s sad as hell but it’s a reality and you can’t apologize for reality.” He said still vigorously writing.
“So Rejon must be back?” I asked.
“No…” He said. It then hit me. There was something really serious going on if he was writing yet another letter. It had me concerned.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
“Sure.” He said.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Life is what you make of it… is life alright for me now? Sure, I guess it is. I can’t really complain…”
“That’s one twisted ass answer.” I laughed. He had no response. I looked around the room. Bazahra was not in sight. I wondered where she was off too.
“Where’s Bazahra?” I asked.
“I sent her to look for Rejon. I really need him back.”
“You know if there’s anything that’s an issue…anything I can help with I’ll be here. Like seriously, I’ll do anything to help.” I said. Finally, he stopped to look up at me.
“Trust me if I need help, I’ll ask.” He said.
“Alright, but can you at least tell me why the urgency?” I continued.
“I just want to give her a bit of…incomplete information that I failed to give her before. I don’t want her to be confused or anything.” He said. He was lying. I could tell there was something deeply bothering him but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just wished he’d tell me.
“Something is bothering you and I want to know what.” I said bluntly. He looked up at me with a smile.
“I’m fine.” He said.
“No, you wouldn’t be this worked up if something wasn’t seriously wrong. What can I help with? You can trust me, Kijus. I’ll do anything…anything!” I said. He had to pause, my words catching him by surprise. He then went deep into the depths of his head.
“…I told you, I’m having some family issues. Now could you please let me sort through this on my own? I got it alright?” He laughed. I wasn’t going to prod anymore. His story wasn’t adding up though. What kind of family issues could he possibly have when he had only two family members accounted for? I sighed leaning back.
“I wish I was like you…” I said.
“What?” He asked in surprise.
“I mean…How you tend to solve all your problems so quick and swiftly. I have family issues too but their long and recurring. If it’s not one issue, it’s another.” I said.
“Well, I’m pretty sure it’ll work itself out.” He said. I was half expecting a ‘why?’ or a ‘what happened?’ but the boy had no interest.
“Maybe so…” I said, feeling discouraged, “Anyways, I’ll leave you be. You seem busy.”
“No, stay…I’m nearly done.” He said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Who’s having the problem? Can I take a wild guess and say you parents? And can I continue by saying your mother feels lonely while your father runs amuck?” He asked.
“Yes, precisely!” I said.
“And you father is plainly oblivious to the fact that your mom is hurting?” He asked, still writing vigorously without looking up.
“Well, it seems the two don’t communicate. That would be the start of a fix.” He said.
“Maybe, but my pa is stubborn and bullheaded. His pride would prevent him from truly fixing the issue. He must always be right.”
“He just needs a big enough wakeup call.”
“And what can give him that wakeup call?”
“That, my friend, would require some serious thinking outside the box.” He laughed.
“I caught them arguing one time. It sounded nasty…then they act like it doesn’t happen but mother doesn’t even want to be touched by pa and it’s so evident. He throws himself on her in front of company and her smile…it’s so synthesized… I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I truly don’t know how much more my mother can take.” I explained.
“Fixing human issues is not my expertise. I would if I could but I’m so out of place. I couldn’t possible speak to your father the way I’d like to.” Kijus sighed.
“And,” I began, “My friends don’t really like me hanging out with you.”
“Why?” He asked, surprised by the matter.
“I don’t know, maybe the fools are jealous. They are starting to get really pushy… I don’t quite know how to address them.” I said.
“…And why precisely are you telling me this?” Kijus asked.
“Because,” I began, “Ok, I keep thinking that one day you’re just going to up and disappear Bayan escort Ankara so…some gut feeling tells me to search everywhere for you and I never am able to find you! Today I got lucky! I literally had no idea you were in your room! And since I’m always searching for you, I never have time for my friends anymore.” I really didn’t want to even explain that much. I didn’t want to make it obvious how I felt about him. I wanted to tell him I saw him at the Mediterranean joint, but I already knew it would start a bitter argument. The jealousy I was feeling had to be suppressed by all means.
“Trust me, I won’t leave without notice.” He giggled.
“I just…” I stammered, “I just want to know, where you run off to? I mean, you seem like you go on quite some adventures.” I didn’t mean to prod but my impulses were getting the best of me. He stared with a smile.
“Trust me, you don’t want to worry about that stuff.” He said.
“Is it bad..? Like…drug bad…? Ring bad?” I continued to ponder.
“No.” He said firmly but still with the smile.
“I’m sorry.” I giggled, feeling a bit embarrassed. Truly, I was worried my questions were becoming too intrusive and would push him away. He still smiled.
“It’s fine.” He said.
“So, you want to go get some frozen custard?” I asked. His smile turned into a look of disappointment.
“No,” He said drearily, “I have to wait on Bazahra.”
“I can just bring you some back. What flavor do you like?” I asked.
“You don’t have to.” He said.
“No, come on.” I begged.
“Well,” He said thinking hard, “Sweet potato.” It caught me so off guard. I stood there stunned for a few seconds before nodding and heading to the door. Hands down, of the infinite flavors of frozen custard, sweet potato was my favorite. This was a particular coincidence because sweet potato was a rare flavor and is seldom asked for. Maybe he wanted a difficult flavor so I could come back and say we had none. It most likely was an attempt to get rid of me but I didn’t care. He was going to be so surprised when he saw me return with the frozen custard flavor.
I took a trip to the kitchen, returning to Kijus with the frozen custard. In the ten minutes it took me to prepare the frozen custard, Bazahra had returned to a delighted Kijus. The two talked in a Illisian, a Germanic language I know, but one that was very foreign to me. Kijus turned to me, extremely surprised at the sight. Two glass dessert bowls with the orange frozen egg desert sat on the gold platter. I placed the platter on the table. Kijus came over, rather surprised to see the dish.
“This is like my all time favorite flavor of anything period, point blank, zilch, nada!” He said, grabbing a spoon and a bowl. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Mine too…” I said, “So how are things with Bazahra and Rejon?”
“Bazahra said that he’s returning from the desert and will be here within the hour. After I eat this, I need to send the letters off. I’m going to send them by her this time. She can get there and back within a day but Rejon takes two days. I don’t think I have that type of time.” He said, stuffing his face with the crème.
“Time for what?” I asked. He froze, before continuing to eat. It was obvious he let some information slip that he wasn’t intending on. He had no reply. “…You can trust me with anything, Kijus. Just tell me.” He looked to me.
“I have too many burdens to lay flat. I don’t want my problem becoming yours. I don’t need you worrying about me.” He said in sudden seriousness. I put the crème back on the platter.
“Worrying about what? What problem? Is someone after you?” I asked.
“Are you after someone?” I said.
“Yes…” He said taking a bite of the crème. He stared off with a super serious gaze, obviously having much contemplated so far. There was something far more serious than a random meet-up in the middle ring going on and I longed to know why.
“I won’t ask anymore. Like you said before, it’s your problem and as you wish, I shall respect your privacy. Just don’t bring any issues you find out in the lower rings back here.” I said, reaching for the crème.
“Trust me, you can count on it.” He said. Again, it was another statement with a double meaning. He was giving me way too much to think about and quite frankly, I think it wasn’t to wise to come and visit him. Now I knew I was going to be reduced to snooping for details.
We finished the desert and he placed a tiny harness on Bazahra and sent her into the air. The two of us then went to the stables to wait for Rejon to return. The incredibly intelligent stag did so, probably within twenty minutes of our arrival. His neck pouch, generally hidden under layers of fur was visible…stuffed with material.
Rejon made his way over to Kijus, petting the towering antelope across the snout. He then reached for the bag, opening it to find quite a surprise. He pulled out several journals worth of notes, years of learning about the details of just about every raptor he’s encountered. His eyes welled up with tears as he continued to dig through the pouch. He found a letter and began reading it. He was extremely overjoyed to read the letter, giggling the whole way through.
“This is from my younger sister.” He said.
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