Cocklust Ch. 24

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Public Sex

It turns out making a good sex tape is harder than you’d think.

The first things we ran into were nerves. As soon as the thought sank in, I started getting cold feet. After all, I knew how much could go wrong, having been a victim of revenge porn before. At the same time, I trusted Chad in a way I’d never trusted anyone. We both knew so much about each other, from our bodies to our desires to everything else; so if there was anyone I’d ever do this with, it was him.

Part of me was just plain self-conscious. I’d obviously been naked on camera before, but never like this. And I’d never liked hearing recordings of my voice, which had always sounded weird and unnatural to me. I could only imagine how off-putting it would be to see myself making faces while gasping and groaning and whatnot.

Chad was nervous too, for apparently the same reason. I told him he had nothing to worry about, since I knew what he was like during sex, which was really fucking hot. He insisted the feeling was mutual, so we both took a deep breath and decided to go ahead with this. We promised each other we’d keep the video totally private, so no one would see it but us.

The next question was exactly how to do it. We’d obviously seen our share of amateur porn, so we knew most of it was crap. We didn’t want our sex tape to be some unflattering blurry image. We wanted it to be as sexy as we could make it, especially since we both planned to jack off to it when we were apart.

We wanted inspiration, so we spent the whole next night watching porn. Some of it was stuff we already knew, like the Flynn Taylor videos that Chad had always loved. But we wanted to broaden our horizons, so we also watched plenty of new stuff. We took notes the whole time, which felt weird at first, but it ultimately paid off.

I noticed Chad liked videos where the guys’ whole bodies were in frame. He got especially turned on by certain porn stars— basically guys who were his type— and he liked seeing them mix up their positions. His favorite positions were the same ones he liked in real life, like the deep stick and the reverse cowboy, and he especially loved watching flip fucks.

As for me, I was most turned on by hot bottoms. I liked watching their expressions while they got drilled. Dirty talk got me particularly hard, especially when it sounded like Chad’s. I loved the money shots most of all; to me, there was nothing hotter than watching a guy cum and imagining how his orgasm must feel.

By the end of that night, Chad and I were dying to have sex. Ironically, we didn’t even think to set up any cameras. We were too caught up in the moment. After all those hours of porn, our hormones were raging, and our dicks were both begging for a release.

“See what you do to me?” Chad asked while we were making out.

I put my hand on Chad’s crotch, which was as hard as concrete. A spot of pre-cum had already leaked through his pants. “Mm,” I mumbled between kisses. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

I undid his fly and slid my hand inside. I gripped his engorged cock and gave it a tug.

“Careful,” he said. “You don’t want me to cum yet, do you?”

I didn’t answer. I broke off our kiss, grabbed his pants and underwear, and pulled them off. Then I flipped him over so I had access to his butt. Without another word, I stuck my face in his crack, and I started eating him out.

“Oh fuck,” he gasped. I felt his boyhole contract against my tongue. Then, a second later, his sphincter relaxed.

Chad’s scent was stronger than usual, since we’d spent that day out and about, yet I wasn’t about to complain. I licked his skin and savored his salty sweat. Fuck, I couldn’t get enough of that ass.

Suddenly Chad’s body tensed up. “Stop,” he said, and he tried to push my head away.


“Just stop.”

“Doesn’t it feel good?”

“I fucking love it,” he said, “but trust me.” Then, before either of us could say anything else, a massive fart came thundering out of his ass.

“Holy shit!” I yelled as I tried to wave away the smell. “That’s so fucking gross!”

“I warned you!”

“You didn’t warn me you were about to fart.”

“I didn’t want to put it like that,” he said. “It’s not exactly a turn-on.”

“Not exactly a turn on?” I said. “You know what’s worse? Blasting fucking mustard gas in my face!”


I wanted to be pissed, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Then Chad cracked a smile, and he started laughing too. “Asshole!” I said as I gave his butt a good slap.

“You love this asshole,” he said as he pulled his cheeks apart. “Just admit it.”

“Well yeah, you could say that.”

“Okay good—”

“I just don’t like when it throws unpleasant surprises at me. So you know, if that happens when we’re filming, we’ll need to do a take two.”

“That’s fine by me,” he said. “We can do as many takes as you want.” With that, he spread his legs and stuck his ass back in my face.

By that point the smell was pretty istanbul escort much gone, so I couldn’t say no to his offer. I ravaged Chad’s ass, first with my mouth, then with my cock. It was a good thing Seth wasn’t home, because we were fucking loud, and we couldn’t help it. We romped all over the bed, and we gave each other the workout of a lifetime.

We finally collapsed on the sheets when we were both out of breath and wet with cum. “Fuck, that was incredible,” Chad said. “I don’t know how we’ll capture that awesomeness on film….”

“Well,” I said, “I guess that’s the challenge.”

“I mean, I don’t want to be the one who fucks it up….”

“You won’t be,” I said. “As far as I’m concerned… you’re the star of the show.”

Chad snorted. “The shit that comes out of your mouth—”

“I mean it.”

“Uh-huh.” He ran a hand through my hair. “If you’re going to put it that way… I guess that makes you my star too.” And he gave me a long, deep, toe-curling kiss.

We didn’t get back out of bed till morning, and when we did, we found a bunch of alerts on our phones. Apparently our fraternity brothers were having quite the time in Cancun. Their Twitter and Instagram feeds kept showing them getting drunk and laid and who-knows-what-else.

I couldn’t help noticing how many pictures included random shirtless boys. I wasn’t necessarily surprised, knowing how many of the Kap Eps were gay. But I did find myself wishing Chad and I could’ve joined in the fun. I thought back to a few months before, when he and I had hooked up with that couple on the beach. I could only imagine how much of that was going on right then. At the same time, I was glad I was spending my Spring Break where I was. I told myself I could still look forward to Rush Week, which was not far off— and if all went well, hopefully Chad could join us then too.

I could tell Chad was thinking along the same lines. When we visited his dad in the hospital that day, he peppered Dr. Batra with questions. He made clear he wanted his old man transferred to L.A. as soon as they could manage. At one point he called his aunt and put her on speaker so they could discuss as a group.

He tried to include his father in the meetings, but it was hard to gauge how much the guy understood. Captain Collins seemed lucid at times, but he didn’t say much, and it was easy for him to get confused. In fact, we couldn’t tell if he remembered who I was, so Chad made sure to remind him. I’d hoped the old man would warm up to me, at least over time, but he kept acting really gruff. I couldn’t tell if that was just his personality, or if it had to do with his injury, or if he just didn’t like me— or if he still took issue with his son being gay.

I was waiting for a private moment so I could talk to Chad. But then my phone rang, and I saw it was my mom. “Hey,” I said as I stepped out of the room.

“Hi honey,” she said. “How’s your trip going?”

I closed the door behind me. I didn’t want to talk about that in detail, least of all in front of Chad’s dad. “It’s good,” was all I ended up saying.

“Listen,” she said, “I’m working on our plans for Amy’s graduation. Will Chad be coming with you?”

Shit, I thought. To be honest, I’d never thought to invite Chad to my family events. It kind of felt like my worlds were colliding, and I wasn’t sure what to think about that. “I-I don’t know….”

“I can get you boys a hotel room,” she said. “I’m assuming you’d would want to share a bed.”

“Aw jeez Mom—”

“What? Are you saying you wouldn’t?”

“I mean….”

“I’ve been reading up on this.”

“What are you talking about? Reading up on what?”

“Well, there’s this one gay writer in particular— what’s his name? Savage. He talks about sex-positivity, which I’d never heard of before, but apparently it’s a thing—”

“Oh God—”

“And I’m also watching lots of Ellen.”


“What? You made it sound like I didn’t understand. So I’m trying to fix that.”

I gritted my teeth. As usual, she always seemed to know just how to exasperate me. “Never mind….”

“Is there something I should be doing differently?”

“How awkward are you trying to make this?”

“I’m just asking.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you. I-I guess if you want to reserve that room, go ahead.”

“All right,” she said. “I want you to know, Scott… I really hope Chad does come. I’ve been wanting to meet him. For real this time, not just over Skype.”

“Okay fine. I’ll see what I can do.” Even as I said it, I looked back at the closed door behind me. I couldn’t help noticing the contrast. After all, Chad’s dad had seemed to want nothing to do with us, even before he’d been hurt. Yet my mom was so supportive, she was driving me nuts. I figured I should count my blessings with her, though I’d never say that out loud.

I talked to Chad about it at lunch. I was definitely nervous at the thought of him with my family. Part of me thought I shouldn’t feel that way, considering halkalı escort how I’d stayed with his mom and his brother, and now I was spending time with his dad. Then again, a big family event seemed like a whole new level of commitment. There was no telling how many of my relatives he’d meet, or what the others might say behind our backs. Not to mention that my folks were nowhere near as wealthy as his; our house didn’t overlook the California coast, nor did we hang out at black tie dinners and such. I was worried he’d think we were Midwestern hicks.

“I mean,” I said, “it’s up to you if you want to go. It’s basically in the middle of nowhere— Dartmouth I mean— so you’d basically be stuck there with us.”

Chad sighed. “Listen. Right now I’d rather be anywhere but here. So yeah, getting away from it all sounds really fucking nice. I just, well, first I need to get Dad to that rehab facility. Which I really hope to God happens soon.”

“You know… whatever you need me to do for you, all you’ve got to do is tell me.”


“I know how much stress you’re under. And I know you don’t like to let it show. But I want to help you, and I can take stuff off your hands. Whether that means running errands or talking to someone or figuring shit out… I’ll do it.”

Chad shook his head. “I’m okay. Like I said, the main thing I need is an escape.” I saw a subtle twinkle in his eyes. “Like the little opus we’re making.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Hell yes I do,” he said. “I told you, our adventures have helped keep me going. So yeah, that shit is just what the doctor ordered.”

I couldn’t argue with that. It made me that much more determined to make the best sex tape I humanly could.

I wanted this video to be downright epic, so I scoured the Internet for advice. I found a bunch of sites devoted to the subject. Each had its own take on things, but they did keep bringing up a lot of the same themes.

Almost all of them said to keep an eye on the lighting. Professional photographers apparently used something called a three-point setup, which was supposed to make people look especially good. Chad and I couldn’t use professional lights of course, but the bedroom did have floor lamps with dimmer switches. We spent a few hours experimenting with those. Chad basically acted as a stand-in: he laid on the bed while I moved the lights around and tried to gauge what looked best. Eventually we found an arrangement that seemed to work, which gave us the same soft lighting you see in actual porn.

The websites also said to plan the camerawork in advance. We were tempted to use a single handheld camera, and just film ourselves in the heat of the moment. But we didn’t want it to look too amateurish, and we wanted to be able to edit the footage if needed. Again, we couldn’t bring in professional equipment, so we just worked with what we had handy. We opted to set up three cameras: my iPad would film a master shot of both of us together, while my phone would focus on Chad, and his phone would focus on me.

We also had to make sure we’d have plenty of privacy. As much as Seth liked to work late, we knew we couldn’t leave anything to chance. So we tried to ask him about his schedule as subtly as we could.

“Oh jeez, I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I haven’t been around that much—”

“It’s okay,” Chad said. “I-I mean I know you’re busy and all—”

“This week is pretty crazy. I’ve got back-to-back meetings for days. Friday I’m going to a fundraiser in Alexandria, and it won’t get out till late, so I’m going to spend the night with Claire. But I’ll make time Saturday, I promise.”

I licked my lips. Claire was Seth’s fiancee, and she lived in Rosslyn, which was at least a half hour’s drive away. I made a mental note that Friday seemed pretty safe.

“I’ll see if Claire can join us.”

“What?” Chad asked. “Oh… you mean Saturday?”

“Well yeah,” Seth replied. “I know she’d love to see you. Especially while Scott’s still in town.”

“If she wants,” I replied. I hated being reminded that I had so little time left with Chad. But I tried to keep the best pokerface I could. The last thing I needed was for Seth to discover our plan.

While we waited for Friday to roll around, we debated the most important question of all, which was what we’d be doing on camera. This was where our porn-watching came in particularly handy. Neither of us liked those old-school videos with the famously shitty acting, where a someone would seduce a plumber or a pizza-delivery guy or whatever. We liked the videos where the porn stars just sat down, chatted for a few minutes— often with the cameraman— then got down to business. We wanted to do something along those lines, except we thought the chatting could be awkward, and we obviously didn’t have a cameraman to talk to.

We decided to start the video with us fully clothed. Then we planned to start making out, and we’d let one thing lead to another from there. Chad wanted to bottom first, which mecidiyeköy escort I wasn’t opposed to. Then we’d most likely flip fuck, and we’d keep going till we’d both gotten each other off.

It sounded simple enough, but it wasn’t. We had to choreograph it in enough detail that we’d know what to expect, and we’d need to make sure the cameras were always in position. At the same time, we obviously wanted to keep things sexy, so we had to leave room for improvisation— if that was the right word— and keep our lovemaking as passionate as we could. Of course, there was no telling how it would work till we actually gave it a shot.

We ended up abstaining from sex for two nights. We still kissed and snuggled and stuff; we just didn’t fuck or jack off. We wanted to save up our juices for when it really counted.

By the end of the second night, we were both really horny. I kept tossing and turning, trying to ignore my raging erection. The anticipation was killing me: I seemed to go back and forth between feeling excited versus anxious versus eager versus itchy. Or some unholy combination.

One thing was for sure though: I did like the experience of working with Chad. This was the first time we’d done anything creative together, so it made for an interesting dynamic. In some ways our tastes lined up perfectly, but in others they were totally different. There were times when it had taken some doing to get on the same page, and sometimes we hadn’t ended up where we’d planned. But we’d gradually learned how to throw ideas at each other, talk them through, and ultimately figure shit out. I actually wanted to explore that side of our relationship some more, once we’d finished with what we were doing.

I rolled over in bed and looked at Chad. I’d expected him to be as restless as I was, but somehow he’d managed to doze off. I watched him sleep, and I couldn’t help noticing how peaceful he looked. I put my hand on his cheek, and I gave his forehead a soft kiss. Then I laid back, and I did my best to relax.

The next thing I remember was opening my eyes and seeing sun. I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. It was Friday— which meant it was finally showtime.

The first thing we did, long before the cameras were rolling, was to douche. We’d heard conflicting stories as to whether enemas were a good idea, but after having experienced Chad’s fart, we wanted to err on the side of caution. We definitely didn’t want messes or other technical difficulties. We’d bought one of those plastic bulbs that you can use to clean your ears. The bulb wasn’t huge, but under the circumstances, we figured it would work.

I went first: I made myself comfortable and sat down on the toilet. Then I reached over to the sink, filled the bulb with water, brought it to my ass, and squirted the water up my butt.

I had to clench my hole to make sure no water dripped out. My nether regions tingled, which was a pretty weird sensation. I swiveled my hips to make the water slosh around inside me. Finally I sat back on the toilet, and I relaxed my sphincter till a powerful stream poured out of my ass.

Once I’d emptied myself out, I flushed the toilet, then started the cycle all over again. I kept rinsing my innards till the water came out clear. Then I wiped myself— just to be safe— and I got in the shower.

I heard Chad open the bathroom door. I peeked through the curtain and watched him sit down. Then he did the same thing I’d just done: he filled up the bulb, stuck the tip inside him, and squirted.

Chad looked up. “You like watching me clean my own ass?”

“Always,” I said. “But I reserve the right to inspect that ass myself. You know… for quality assurance.”


“Plus it’s been a while since I’ve seen you stick something up there.”

“You mean besides your cock?”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Unfortunately our toys are all back at your apartment.”

“Well,” I said, “if this goes well, maybe we’ll need to do a sequel. Toys and all.”

“Maybe so.” Then Chad released his bowels, and the water gushed into the toilet.

I loved how we seemed to have no boundaries left. It didn’t seem the slightest bit weird to see Chad sitting on the pot, buck naked, while I showered just a few feet away. Then again, this was in some ways nothing new. After all, I’d seen Chad naked long before we’d officially met.

When I got out of the shower, I did feel usually clean, both inside and out. But I couldn’t wait to get dirtied up again. I was tempted to just keep my clothes off, head over to the bed, and wait for Chad to join me. But all the websites said to focus on what would be hot onscreen, even if it felt awkward in real life— and we’d both agreed to shed our clothes on camera. So I got dressed in spite of myself, and I checked to make sure I had everything ready.

A minute later, Chad got out of the shower, toweled himself off, and donned his costume of sorts. It was his old Kobe jersey and a pair of nice jeans. He looked like the ultimate horny jock— which of course was not far from the truth.

“Okay,” I said. “Are you ready for this?”

Chad took a deep breath. “Let’s get this party started,” he said. I could tell he was trying to hide his jitters. And if I was being honest with myself, I basically felt the same way.

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